Heartbroken

Robert and i have been under so much stress for so long it finally blew up and we got into a huge fight. i had my keys in my hand and when he grabbed me i hit him with the keys. His arm is cut up pretty good and swollen. i feel so ashamed. i didn't even realize what i was doing until it was already done. He is very understanding and is ok with it but i thought i would be past this by now. i hate my flashbacks. i hate that i hurt my husband because of the flashbacks. This wasn't the first time i hurt him because i had a flashback and thought i was in danger, it probably won't be the last. It just breaks my heart that i hurt him. :(