A new baby

Finally some calm after the storm that has been life for the last year or so....i got an early birthday present from Robert; a sweet little puppy. We named him Loki since we have Thor and they are adopted brothers :) i think it fits.

Motivation

i am having the hardest time finding the motivation to finish putting this house together. It has taken so long and with all the problems we have come across along the way, i just don't want to deal with it anymore. Of course that gets me more depressed cause it's still not done. i got the main living areas finished (mostly) and i am completely burned out. i wish i could just stay in bed or glued to the couch. i think i need to go back to making up daily goals for myself, it helped me get things done before so maybe it will help this time around too.

Thor, emily and charlie

Thor, emily and charlie, a photo by elaine.pepsicola81 on Flickr.

My dogs and my baby girl <3 Everyone is so happy that we have our own space again.

Lots of thanks to my sweet sister for getting my kids their Easter baskets and filling this year. I wasn't able to get them myself.

Lots of thanks to my sweet sister for getting my kids their Easter baskets and filling this year. I wasn't able to get them myself., a photo by elaine.pepsicola81 on Flickr.

Thanks*

Is it possible to be sad and happy at the same time? i am so very sad that we are selling everything that will fetch more than 20 dollars, including gifts that we had got for the kids. i am sad that we are running up the credit cards that we just paid down, just so we can eat. i am sad that my husband has to work 6 days a week, 12-16 hours a day just so that we can barely get by.

i am happy that through all these struggles and the sacrifices we have made, Robert and i are closer than ever. We have been through so much in the 11 years we have been together, the last 2 years have by far been the most difficult. Instead of tearing us apart, we are so much stronger and i am thankful for that. i am happy that Robert likes his job, it makes it so much easier to deal with him having to work so much. i am happy that our children are doing better every day. i have hid most of our troubles from them but of course they know that something is up when we keep selling our stuff and it just melts my heart when my little girl gives me her dollar she has been saving and tells me i can use it to buy food for us. i am so happy that my sweet boy Kevin is doing so much better since we got back into our own place again. His stuttering was getting so bad and now it is back to just a little bit here and there; i am sure now that his stuttering is because of stress which i think is easier to treat. Even Cameron is acting happier than i have seen him since we had to leave Fallon.
i am happy that i have a little sister who is always willing to help me if she can and gives her full support, never judging what i have to do in order to make it and never judging the mistakes i have made to get to where i am now. 

i have struggled with my faith for a long while. How can a loving God be ok with someone struggling so much? Lately though i have felt as though i have been lifted up in a virtual hug, it is really hard to describe. It is a floating feeling, a happiness where you wouldn't expect to find it, a feeling of comfort and someone saying it will be ok.

My constant companion. Love this guy.

My constant companion. Love this guy., a photo by elaine.pepsicola81 on Flickr.

So Angry

Just when i was starting to feel good about everything. We have working water, toilet, and AC and i was making progress on the cleaning and unpacking. i got every single kitchen box emptied and i am missing about half of my dishes/cook wear. i am livid.

 The movers packed everything. We did the final walk through of the old house, nothing was left behind that we didn't plan to take with us. So somewhere between our stuff leaving NV and going to AZ, both transit and sitting in multiple storage houses, a bunch of our stuff disappeared. Most of our fish stuff is gone too so if we want to get our fish tank running again, we have to replace a lot of the stuff. i still have not found Kevin's camera, i have 1 more box to empty of the kids' stuff. i really hope i come across it. He is constantly asking if i found it yet.

They didn't do a proper inventory, i knew about that but didn't think it would be a big deal. i thought they had noted the number of boxes at least, even if they didn't exactly inventory the contents. i swear, no one will ever touch my stuff again. i didn't want to use them to begin with but we needed the navy to pay for our move cause we couldn't afford to do it ourselves. i will never recommend anyone to use a moving company. Both times we have had to use them it has been the worst experience ever.

i would say this gives me a great excuse to go shopping. But sadly we can't afford that. :(  i guess i better get back to work.