Katy Perry - Wide Awake

So loved

So loved, a photo by elaine.pepsicola81 on Flickr.

My Valentine's day gifts.

Highlight of my night

Cleaning up after a sick child and almost losing my dinner several times. So much fun.

Lower case i

When referring to myself i use the lower case letter because it is a show of submission to my Husband/Master. He gets a capital letter because he is the top, i get lower case because i am bottom. Just wanted to clarify that it is done on purpose. :)

A time for change

Life Choices: Putting the Pieces Together by Moreo, Judi/ Goodwin, Bea (Google Affiliate Ad)

 i have never been good at keeping up with this blog and even forgot about it for a long while. Today i am making changes to the layout, title, and what the content will be. This blog will become a journal of sorts for me to work on my therapy and get my emotions and anger out in the open so i can finally heal.

The original direction for this blog was to keep it "vanilla", however, i am done hiding. i will keep my blog rated G, but i won't be censoring myself anymore in concern to the type of marriage that i have. 

So much can happen in a year

It has been over a year since I posted on my blog so I thought it might be helpful for me to update and try to get back into writing. I'll try to keep this update short; May 2011 we were heading across country to move to Nevada. It was a long trip and we were looking forward to starting over and being near my family. Along the way Robert got me a dog for my birthday. We later had to take her to the shelter after she bit my daughter.

We made it to Nevada and got settled into our new house, it was nice to be out of apartments after 9 years. For the first time ever we have a yard and a garage, it was really nice. We went and got the kids all new beds and got another dog from CA. Living the dream.

My cousin went missing in August and was later determined to be dead although he was never found. It has taken a toll on the family and I have struggled with it a lot.

 Right before Christmas we were informed that Robert was being laid off. Not what you want to hear around the holidays but oh well. We had a nice Christmas and new year. I continued to struggle with everything and went through a bunch of meds trying to find something that works and all of them made me gain a ton of weight which in itself didn't help any. Finally my doctor gave up and sent me to a specialist and he diagnosed me with PTSD and Bipolar disorder. I have been on new meds and getting better.

Soon we will have to move again, I just hope we don't have to go too far away, I like being able to visit my family sooner than once every 3 years. So that is basically the last year. I would like to try and get into writing once a week

Live, learn, and try to remember to update the blog every now and then lol

So much has changed since Robert got back from his deployment last year. We are all so happy and although there is still a lot of stress with school and preparing to move, life is good.

I was looking back at old videos and pictures and was sad that my babies are all growing up. There is so much that I would have done differently with each of the kids, if only I could go back and fix things. They are happy so I guess I didn't do too bad.

I am learning to fit everything together and make things work with school, the kids' school, Robert's work and taking care of everything at home.

I was put on some new medication to help me sleep and for my panic attacks and vertigo, it has helped a ton but I still wish I didn't need it. I hate having to take meds on a daily basis.

My rabbits went to their new home almost 2 weeks ago. I am still very sad about it and miss them so much. Cameron's allergy problems have almost dissipated so I feel better about my decision to re-home my fur-babies. It was the right choice for my family, even if it broke my heart to do it.

After being with Robert for 9 years it is hard to believe that every day just keeps getting better. We have made many mistakes but have learned and grown from them and are better for them.

I guess that's it for the update. Maybe I will remember to get back to this and update it sometime before next year lol.